We then had to wait 9 days for an HCG blood count. During the week we had 3 positive home pregnancy tests, each progressively lighter than the first. On Sunday the HCG count was 3. That is not a great number, but it is also not a negative test. Our nurse told us to discontinue our hormone medications. We decided to remain on the medications and try to get another blood test later in the week to see if the number had increased. We had no more positive home tests, and by Thursday when our naturopath did another blood draw, the HCG number was less than 2, now completely a negative test. We stopped my estrogen and progesterone medications, and a few days later I had a miscarriage.
Today at church (and many other recent Sundays) we have sung the following song:
These words sum up so well what we have gone through in the past 2 weeks.
I have learned more about God's comfort, joy and presence than I ever have before. There is little that anyone can say that would make me feel less sad, but simply knowing that God is right there with us means the most.
About the same time we knew that things may not be going as well as we would have liked, another embryo adoption friend from church, Kate, started dealing with early labor at 24 weeks. It felt like bad news on top of bad news. While texting back and forth with Kate as we were checking up on each other I told her I was doing better than I ever could have imagined. (Not that I was happily bouncing off the walls or anything.) I could feel God's comfort. I find myself still wanting to give glory to Him alone. She said something like, "Wow, His grace really is sufficient." And really, it is.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (ESV) - But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Thank you so much to those of you who have been praying for us. Please continue to pray for us. It is still hard to hear people complaining about their pregnancies or their children. It is hard to think about having to wait another year before we can think about another embryo transfer. It is hard to think about having lost a third baby.