Friday, October 7, 2011

Irrational

I am currently extremely angry at a bit of chocolate cake. Here's the train of thought that got me there:

The cake isn't ours. Somehow it just came home with us after a prayer group last night. I don't want to eat it, and it turns out neither does Tom. This means we need to get rid of it. This makes me a little bit upset because its large non-recyclable container is going to take up space in our small garbage can. Yes, there is space right now, but I have that space reserved for house project junk. Ok, so now I have to separate the container parts and the cake for garbage and compost. SNAP. POP. POP. POP. It's loud. Halcyone wakes up from her nap, scared from the noise and starts screaming, a whole hour early. Oh, and now my Dexcom is beeping. Not the high beep, but the low insistent one that says, "Excuse me, deal with this now. Your blood sugar is too low!"

Alright, now I need to calm Miss H down and take care of this blood sugar. And I realized I'm also mad at PCC for putting the stupid cake in such a loud container. Hmm. Yes, low blood sugar does make me a bit irrational. Just ask Tom. For some reason all I can think about at this point is squeezing my shower in before I get Halcyone out of her crib. So I wander into the bathroom and take my insulin pump off and find a towel. Oh wait! My Dexcom is still beeping, reminding me of something... something... my low blood sugar. And yes, I can tell it's low. That's why I'm so confused about what I should be doing. So I grab a can of Coke (which reminds me I'm also not very happy with whoever finished the juice, probably me) and go rescue Halcyone. The poor girl is not having anything to do with more napping now.

Ahhhh! My shower! My nap-time-clean-the-house-up-routine! My blood sugar! And the cake is still not taken care of.

How can something so insignificant derail my day this much? Why did I let it consume my brain? Well, partially because of the low blood sugar, but also because I wasn't meditating on the blessings God has given me. He has provided a house, a beautiful little girl, a prayer group for our friends in Africa, a Dexcom to let me know when my blood sugar goes awry, the ability to stay at home with Halcyone, a husband who loves and cares for us, and so much more.

So what am I thinking about now?

Ephesians 3:20-21 Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.

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